Episode 13: Thirteen Ways to Avoid Political Bad Luck
This week on the podcast it’s lucky Episode #13. In honor of the 13th Episode I thought we would have a little fun. 13 Ways to Avoid Political Bad Luck.
1. Don’t forget your three main points. Especially in public, especially in a big debate, especially in front of the whole country. (See Rick Perry) For more information on making a speech with three main points you can listen to Episode 8 at TalkGOP.com/8.
2. Don’t stand in the rain. William Henry Harrison was elected in 1840. The day that Harrison was sworn into office was rainy and cold, and to make matters worse, the newly elected president chose to deliver his entire 8,444-word speech . A month later he was dead of pneumonia.
3. Don’t talk to Jon Stewart. He’s funnier than you, and he is more clever. You can only come out looking dumb.
4. (This rule only applies to Republicans) Don’t have an affair, especially an affair with women who live in another country.
5. Don’t get secretly recorded in private. And NO SELFIES.
6. Don’t have a funny name. And yes, Weiner is a funny name.
7. Don’t be boring. If you are boring, don’t have an affair to liven things up. (see Rule #4)
8. Don’t be clueless. If you don’t know why you are running, no one else will either.
9. Don’t be Orange. Fake tan, fake hair, cheap suit. Don’t look fake. Or blue.
11. Don’t talk about rape.
12. Don’t LIE. Read my lips, if you like your insurance you can keep it.
13. DON’T BE DUMB. If you think islands can tip over maybe congress isn’t for you.
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